Here and Far

     In a profanity-laden rant caught on record Wednesday by an undisclosed source, Burlington mayor Miro Weinberger alluded to a reality that has been threatening Vermonts 350 million dollar creemee industry for years.  In the chiding, the mayor continually poked fun at the fact that Vermonters "don't realize that creemees are the same soft serve that the rest of the country noticed was far inferior to regular ice cream after TCBY had their moment in the early 1990's".  Industry advocates have long insisted that creemees are fundamentally different than soft serve in texture, taste, and cream content, but independent efforts at verifying this claim have consistently disproved it.  Widespread fear exists that if consumers did realize that they were eating only regular soft serve and not a unique "creemee", Vermont's most lucrative novelty treat would loose appeal immediately.  In a public opinion poll conducted by St. Michael's College in 2012, 86% ...

     The death of Burlington resident Maeve Donnely marks the third incident of the year in which a city resident has accidentally relaxed their heart rate to the point that blood was unable to perfuse to the rest of the body.  Each of these deaths was linked to the habitual "chain" drinking of herbal teas without any sweetener.  Emergency medical professionals found her early Sunday morning in a rocking chair in the bedroom of her rental apartment on Crombie St. in Burlington's Old North End with a "blissfull look on her face."  Moriah Wilson, housemate of the 25 year old Donnely, estimates that she had been drinking up to 8 cups of herbal tea per night and maintaining an "incredibly mellow" state.  Governor Peter Shumlin spoke today at the statehouse vowing to take executive measures to educate these tea drinkers on the "dangers of excessive efforts towards mindfulness".  In his comments he alluded to a widely held speculation that these wo...